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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Lewis Carroll

                            CHAPTER I

                      Down the Rabbit-Hole

  Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sisteron the bank, and of having nothing to do:  once or twice she hadpeeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had nopictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,'thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?'

  So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whetherthe pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the troubleof getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a WhiteRabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.

 

  There was nothing so VERY remarkable in that; nor did Alicethink it so VERY much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say toitself, `Oh dear!  Oh dear!  I shall be late!'  (when she thoughtit over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to havewondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural);but when the Rabbit actually TOOK A WATCH OUT OF ITS WAISTCOAT-POCKET, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started toher feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had neverbefore seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch totake out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across thefield after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it popdown a large rabbit-hole under the hedge.

 

  In another moment down went Alice after it, never onceconsidering how in the world she was to get out again.

 

  The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not amoment to think about stopping herself before she found herselffalling down a very deep well.

 

  Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for shehad plenty of time as she went down to look about her and towonder what was going to happen next.  First, she tried to lookdown and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark tosee anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, andnoticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs.  Shetook down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it waslabelled `ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment itwas empty:  she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killingsomebody, so managed to put it into one of the cupboards as shefell past it.

 

  `Well!' thought Alice to herself, `after such a fall as this, Ishall think nothing of tumbling down stairs!  How brave they'llall think me at home!  Why, I wouldn't say anything about it,even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likelytrue.)

 

  Down, down, down.  Would the fall NEVER come to an end!  `Iwonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said aloud.

`I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.  Letme see:  that would be four thousand miles down, I think--' (for,you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in herlessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a VERY goodopportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one tolisten to her, still it was good practice to say it over) `--yes,that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what Latitudeor Longitude I've got to?'  (Alice had no idea what Latitude was,or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words tosay.)

 

  Presently she began again.  `I wonder if I shall fall rightTHROUGH the earth!  How funny it'll seem to come out among thepeople that walk with their heads downward!  The Antipathies, Ithink--' (she was rather glad there WAS no one listening, thistime, as it didn't sound at all the right word) `--but I shallhave to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.

Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she triedto curtsey as she spoke--fancy CURTSEYING as you're fallingthrough the air!  Do you think you could manage it?)  `And whatan ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking!  No, it'llnever do to ask:  perhaps I shall see it written up somewhere.'

  Down, down, down.  There was nothing else to do, so Alice soonbegan talking again.  `Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, Ishould think!'  (Dinah was the cat.)  `I hope they'll rememberher saucer of milk at tea-time.  Dinah my dear!  I wish you weredown here with me!  There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, butyou might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know.

But do cats eat bats, I wonder?'  And here Alice began to getrather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort ofway, `Do cats eat bats?  Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Dobats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer eitherquestion, it didn't much matter which way she put it.  She feltthat she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that shewas walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her veryearnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth:  did you ever eat abat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap ofsticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.

 

  Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in amoment:  she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before herwas another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still insight, hurrying down it.  There was not a moment to be lost:away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear itsay, as it turned a corner, `Oh my ears and whiskers, how lateit's getting!'  She was close behind it when she turned thecorner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen:  she foundherself in a long, low hall, which was lit up by a row of lampshanging from the roof.

 

  There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up theother, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,wondering how she was ever to get out again.

 

  Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made ofsolid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of thedoors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, orthe key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any ofthem.  However, on the second time round, she came upon a lowcurtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a littledoor about fifteen inches high:  she tried the little golden keyin the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!

  Alice opened the door and found that it led into a smallpassage, not much larger than a rat-hole:  she knelt down andlooked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.

How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander aboutamong those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, butshe could not even get her head though the doorway; `and even ifmy head would go through,' thought poor Alice, `it would be ofvery little use without my shoulders.  Oh, how I wishI could shut up like a telescope!  I think I could, if I onlyknow how to begin.'  For, you see, so many out-of-the-way thingshad happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very fewthings indeed were really impossible.

 

  There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so shewent back to the table, half hoping she might find another key onit, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up liketelescopes:  this time she found a little bottle on it, (`whichcertainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round the neckof the bottle was a paper label, with the words `DRINK ME'beautifully printed on it in large letters.

 

  It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise littleAlice was not going to do THAT in a hurry.  `No, I'll lookfirst,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not';for she had read several nice little histories about children whohad got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasantthings, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rulestheir friends had taught them:  such as, that a red-hot pokerwill burn you if you hold it too long; and that if you cut yourfinger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she hadnever forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked`poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner orlater.

 

  However, this bottle was NOT marked `poison,' so Alice venturedto taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact, a sortof mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple, roastturkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon finishedit off.

 

  `What a curious feeling!' said Alice; `I must be shutting uplike a telescope.'

  And so it was indeed:  she was now only ten inches high, andher face brightened up at the thought that she was now the rightsize for going through the little door into that lovely garden.

First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she wasgoing to shrink any further:  she felt a little nervous aboutthis; `for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, `in mygoing out altogether, like a candle.  I wonder what I should belike then?'  And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle islike after the candle is blown out, for she could not rememberever having seen such a thing.

 

  After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decidedon going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice!when she got to the door, she found she had forgotten thelittle golden key, and when she went back to the table for it,she found she could not possibly reach it:  she could see itquite plainly through the glass, and she tried her best to climbup one of the legs of the table, but it was too slippery;and when she had tired herself out with trying,the poor little thing sat down and cried.

 

  `Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice toherself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!'She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she veryseldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself soseverely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she rememberedtrying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a gameof croquet she was playing against herself, for this curiouschild was very fond of pretending to be two people.  `But it's nouse now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people!  Why,there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectableperson!'

 

  Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying underthe table:  she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, onwhich the words `EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.

`Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, `and if it makes me grow larger,I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creepunder the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and Idon't care which happens!'

  She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, `Whichway?  Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head tofeel which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised tofind that she remained the same size:  to be sure, this generallyhappens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into theway of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in thecommon way.

 

  So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.

 

                           CHAPTER II

                        The Pool of Tears

  `Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so muchsurprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak goodEnglish); `now I'm opening out like the largest telescope thatever was!  Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at herfeet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting sofar off).  `Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put onyour shoes and stockings for you now, dears?  I'm sure _I_ shan'tbe able!  I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myselfabout you:  you must manage the best way you can; --but I must bekind to them,' thought Alice, `or perhaps they won't walk theway I want to go!  Let me see:  I'll give them a new pair ofboots every Christmas.'

  And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.

`They must go by the carrier,' she thought; `and how funny it'llseem, sending presents to one's own feet!  And how odd thedirections will look!

            ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.

                HEARTHRUG,                    NEAR THE FENDER,                        (WITH ALICE'S LOVE).

 

Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'

  Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall:  infact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once tookup the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.

 

  Poor Alice!  It was as much as she could do, lying down on oneside, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to getthrough was more hopeless than ever:  she sat down and began tocry again.

 

  `You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, `a greatgirl like you,' (she might well say this), `to go on crying inthis way!  Stop this moment, I tell you!'  But she went on allthe same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large poolall round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down thehall.

 

  After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in thedistance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.

It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with apair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in theother:  he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering tohimself as he came, `Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh! won't shebe savage if I've kept her waiting!'  Alice felt so desperatethat she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when the Rabbitcame near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, `If you please,sir--'  The Rabbit started violently, dropped the white kidgloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness as hardas he could go.

 

  Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was veryhot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:`Dear, dear!  How queer everything is to-day!  And yesterdaythings went on just as usual.  I wonder if I've been changed inthe night?  Let me think:  was I the same when I got up thismorning?  I almost think I can remember feeling a littledifferent.  But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who inthe world am I?  Ah, THAT'S the great puzzle!'  And she beganthinking over all the children she knew that were of the same ageas herself, to see if she could have been changed for any ofthem.

 

  `I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, `for her hair goes in suchlong ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'msure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,oh! she knows such a very little!  Besides, SHE'S she, and I'm I,and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is!  I'll try if I know all thethings I used to know.  Let me see:  four times five is twelve,and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is--oh dear!I shall never get to twenty at that rate!  However, theMultiplication Table doesn't signify:  let's try Geography.

London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,and Rome--no, THAT'S all wrong, I'm certain!  I must have beenchanged for Mabel!  I'll try and say "How doth the little--"'and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she were saying lessons,and began to repeat it, but her voice sounded hoarse andstrange, and the words did not come the same as they used to do:--

            `How doth the little crocodile              Improve his shining tail,            And pour the waters of the Nile              On every golden scale!

            `How cheerfully he seems to grin,              How neatly spread his claws,            And welcome little fishes in              With gently smiling jaws!'

  `I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, andher eyes filled with tears again as she went on, `I must be Mabelafter all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky littlehouse, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever somany lessons to learn!  No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'mMabel, I'll stay down here!  It'll be no use their putting theirheads down and saying "Come up again, dear!"  I shall only lookup and say "Who am I then?  Tell me that first, and then, if Ilike being that person, I'll come up:  if not, I'll stay downhere till I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with asudden burst of tears, `I do wish they WOULD put their headsdown!  I am so VERY tired of being all alone here!'

  As she said this she looked down at her hands, and wassurprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's littlewhite kid gloves while she was talking.  `How CAN I have donethat?' she thought.  `I must be growing small again.'  She got upand went to the table to measure herself by it, and found that,as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet high,and was going on shrinking rapidly:  she soon found out that thecause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped ithastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.

 

`That WAS a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal frightened atthe sudden change, but very glad to find herself still inexistence; `and now for the garden!' and she ran with all speedback to the little door:  but, alas! the little door was shutagain, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table asbefore, `and things are worse than ever,' thought the poor child,`for I never was so small as this before, never!  And I declareit's too bad, that it is!'

  As she said these words her foot slipped, and in anothermoment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water.  Her firstidea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, `and in thatcase I can go back by railway,' she said to herself.  (Alice hadbeen to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the generalconclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you finda number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging inthe sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, andbehind them a railway station.)  However, she soon made out thatshe was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was ninefeet high.

 

  `I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about,trying to find her way out.  `I shall be punished for it now, Isuppose, by being drowned in my own tears!  That WILL be a queerthing, to be sure!  However, everything is queer to-day.'

  Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool alittle way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was:  atfirst she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but thenshe remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out thatit was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.

 

  `Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, `to speak to thismouse?  Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I shouldthink very likely it can talk:  at any rate, there's no harm intrying.'  So she began:  `O Mouse, do you know the way out ofthis pool?  I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'(Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered havingseen in her brother's Latin Grammar, `A mouse--of a mouse--to amouse--a mouse--O mouse!'  The Mouse looked at her ratherinquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its littleeyes, but it said nothing.

 

  `Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; `Idaresay it's a French mouse, come over with William theConqueror.'  (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice hadno very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.)  So shebegan again:  `Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence inher French lesson-book.  The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of thewater, and seemed to quiver all over with fright.  `Oh, I begyour pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt thepoor animal's feelings.  `I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'

  `Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionatevoice.  `Would YOU like cats if you were me?'

  `Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone:  `don't beangry about it.  And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah:I think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her.

She is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself,as she swam lazily about in the pool, `and she sits purring sonicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--andshe is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capitalone for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she feltcertain it must be really offended.  `We won't talk about her anymore if you'd rather not.'

  `We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the endof his tail.  `As if I would talk on such a subject!  Our familyalways HATED cats:  nasty, low, vulgar things!  Don't let me hearthe name again!'

  `I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change thesubject of conversation.  `Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly:  `There issuch a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curlybrown hair!  And it'll fetch things when you throw them, andit'll sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--Ican't remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, youknow, and he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds!He says it kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in asorrowful tone, `I'm afraid I've offended it again!'  For theMouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go, andmaking quite a commotion in the pool as it went.

 

  So she called softly after it, `Mouse dear!  Do come backagain, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don'tlike them!'  When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swamslowly back to her:  its face was quite pale (with passion, Alicethought), and it said in a low trembling voice, `Let us get tothe shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'llunderstand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'

  It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowdedwith the birds and animals that had fallen into it:  there were aDuck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curiouscreatures.  Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to theshore.

 

                           CHAPTER III

                  A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

  They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on thebank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with theirfur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, anduncomfortable.

 

  The first question of course was, how to get dry again:  theyhad a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemedquite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly withthem, as if she had known them all her life.  Indeed, she hadquite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,and would only say, `I am older than you, and must know better';and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was nomore to be said.

 

  At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority amongthem, called out, `Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!  I'LLsoon make you dry enough!'  They all sat down at once, in a largering, with the Mouse in the middle.  Alice kept her eyesanxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a badcold if she did not get dry very soon.

 

  `Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, `are you all ready?This is the driest thing I know.  Silence all round, if you please!"William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, wassoon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had beenof late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.  Edwin andMorcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'

  `Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.

 

  `I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but verypolitely:  `Did you speak?'

  `Not I!' said the Lory hastily.

 

  `I thought you did,' said the Mouse.  `--I proceed.  "Edwin andMorcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, foundit advisable--"'

  `Found WHAT?' said the Duck.

 

  `Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather crossly:  `of course youknow what "it" means.'

  `I know what "it" means well enough, when I find a thing,' saidthe Duck:  `it's generally a frog or a worm.  The question is,what did the archbishop find?'

  The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,`"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet Williamand offer him the crown.  William's conduct at first wasmoderate.  But the insolence of his Normans--"  How are yougetting on now, my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as itspoke.

 

  `As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone:  `it doesn'tseem to dry me at all.'

  `In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, `Imove that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of moreenergetic remedies--'

  `Speak English!' said the Eaglet.  `I don't know the meaning ofhalf those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you doeither!'  And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile:some of the other birds tittered audibly.

 

  `What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,`was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'

  `What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she wanted muchto know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODYought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.

 

  `Why,' said the Dodo, `the best way to explain it is to do it.'(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winterday, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)

  First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, (`theexact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the partywere placed along the course, here and there.  There was no `One,two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to knowwhen the race was over.  However, when they had been running halfan hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly calledout `The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,and asking, `But who has won?'

  This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal ofthought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed uponits forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare,in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence.  Atlast the Dodo said, `EVERYBODY has won, and all must haveprizes.'

 

  `But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voicesasked.

 

  `Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice withone finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,calling out in a confused way, `Prizes! Prizes!'

  Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her handin her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the saltwater had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.

There was exactly one a-piece all round.

 

  `But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the Mouse.

 

  `Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely.  `What else haveyou got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.

 

  `Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.

 

  `Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.

 

  Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodosolemnly presented the thimble, saying `We beg your acceptance ofthis elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this shortspeech, they all cheered.

 

  Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all lookedso grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could notthink of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,looking as solemn as she could.

 

  The next thing was to eat the comfits:  this caused some noiseand confusion, as the large birds complained that they could nottaste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted onthe back.  However, it was over at last, and they sat down againin a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.

 

  `You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,`and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, halfafraid that it would be offended again.

 

  `Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning toAlice, and sighing.

 

  `It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down withwonder at the Mouse's tail; `but why do you call it sad?'  Andshe kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, sothat her idea of the tale was something like this:--

                    `Fury said to a                   mouse, That he                 met in the               house,            "Let us              both go to                law:  I will                  prosecute                    YOU.  --Come,                       I'll take no                        denial; We                     must have a                 trial:  For              really this           morning I've          nothing         to do."           Said the             mouse to the               cur, "Such                 a trial,                   dear Sir,                         With                     no jury                  or judge,                would be              wasting             our              breath."               "I'll be                 judge, I'll                   be jury,"                         Said                    cunning                      old Fury:                     "I'll                      try the                         whole                          cause,                             and                        condemn                       you                      to                       death."'

 

  `You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.

`What are you thinking of?'

  `I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly:  `you had got tothe fifth bend, I think?'

  `I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.

 

  `A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, andlooking anxiously about her.  `Oh, do let me help to undo it!'

  `I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting upand walking away.  `You insult me by talking such nonsense!'

  `I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice.  `But you're so easilyoffended, you know!'

  The Mouse only growled in reply.

 

  `Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called afterit; and the others all joined in chorus, `Yes, please do!' butthe Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a littlequicker.

 

  `What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as itwas quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity ofsaying to her daughter `Ah, my dear!  Let this be a lesson to younever to lose YOUR temper!'  `Hold your tongue, Ma!' said theyoung Crab, a little snappishly.  `You're enough to try thepatience of an oyster!'

  `I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,addressing nobody in particular.  `She'd soon fetch it back!'

  `And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'said the Lory.

 

  Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk abouther pet:  `Dinah's our cat.  And she's such a capital one forcatching mice you can't think!  And oh, I wish you could see herafter the birds!  Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as lookat it!'

 

  This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.

Some of the birds hurried off at once:  one old Magpie beganwrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, `I really must begetting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canarycalled out in a trembling voice to its children, `Come away, mydears!  It's high time you were all in bed!'  On various pretextsthey all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.

 

  `I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in amelancholy tone.  `Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'msure she's the best cat in the world!  Oh, my dear Dinah!  Iwonder if I shall ever see you any more!'  And here poor Alicebegan to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited.

In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering offootsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hopingthat the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back tofinish his story.

 

                           CHAPTER IV

                The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

  It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, andlooking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess!  The Duchess!Oh my dear paws!  Oh my fur and whiskers!  She'll get meexecuted, as sure as ferrets are ferrets!  Where CAN I havedropped them, I wonder?'  Alice guessed in a moment that it waslooking for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and shevery good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they werenowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since herswim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table andthe little door, had vanished completely.

 

  Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,and called out to her in an angry tone, `Why, Mary Ann, what AREyou doing out here?  Run home this moment, and fetch me a pair ofgloves and a fan!  Quick, now!'  And Alice was so much frightenedthat she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to, withouttrying to explain the mistake it had made.

 

  `He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she ran.

`How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am!  But I'dbetter take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the doorof which was a bright brass plate with the name `W. RABBIT'engraved upon it.  She went in without knocking, and hurriedupstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan andgloves.

 

  `How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, `to be goingmessages for a rabbit!  I suppose Dinah'll be sending me onmessages next!'  And she began fancying the sort of thing thatwould happen:  `"Miss Alice!  Come here directly, and get readyfor your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse!  But I've got to seethat the mouse doesn't get out."  Only I don't think,' Alice wenton, `that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began orderingpeople about like that!'

  By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room witha table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan and twoor three pairs of tiny white kid gloves:  she took up the fan anda pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the room, whenher eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass.  There was no label this time with the words `DRINK ME,'but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her lips.  `I knowSOMETHING interesting is sure to happen,' she said to herself,`whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll just see what thisbottle does.  I do hope it'll make me grow large again, forreally I'm quite tired of being such a tiny little thing!'

  It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressingagainst the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from beingbroken.  She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself`That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, Ican't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite somuch!'

 

  Alas! it was too late to wish that!  She went on growing, andgrowing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor:  inanother minute there was not even room for this, and she triedthe effect of lying down with one elbow against the door, and theother arm curled round her head.  Still she went on growing, and,as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window, and onefoot up the chimney, and said to herself `Now I can do no more,whatever happens.  What WILL become of me?'

  Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its fulleffect, and she grew no larger:  still it was very uncomfortable,and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of her ever gettingout of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

 

  `It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, `when onewasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered aboutby mice and rabbits.  I almost wish I hadn't gone down thatrabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,this sort of life!  I do wonder what CAN have happened to me!When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thingnever happened, and now here I am in the middle of one!  Thereought to be a book written about me, that there ought!  And whenI grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in asorrowful tone; `at least there's no room to grow up any moreHERE.'

 

  `But then,' thought Alice, `shall I NEVER get any older than Iam now?  That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old woman--but then--always to have lessons to learn!  Oh, I shouldn't like THAT!'

  `Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself.  `How can youlearn lessons in here?  Why, there's hardly room for YOU, and noroom at all for any lesson-books!'

  And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a fewminutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

 

  `Mary Ann!  Mary Ann!' said the voice.  `Fetch me my glovesthis moment!'  Then came a little pattering of feet on thestairs.  Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, andshe trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that shewas now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had noreason to be afraid of it.

 

  Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open it;but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was pressedhard against it, that attempt proved a failure.  Alice heard itsay to itself `Then I'll go round and get in at the window.'

  `THAT you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till shefancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she suddenlyspread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air.  She did notget hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a fall,and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that it wasjust possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or somethingof the sort.

 

  Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--`Pat! Pat!  Where areyou?'  And then a voice she had never heard before, `Sure thenI'm here!  Digging for apples, yer honour!'

  `Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily.  `Here!Come and help me out of THIS!'  (Sounds of more broken glass.)

  `Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'

  `Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!'  (He pronounced it `arrum.')

  `An arm, you goose!   Who ever saw one that size?  Why, itfills the whole window!'

  `Sure, it does, yer honour:  but it's an arm for all that.'

  `Well, it's got no business there, at any rate:  go and take itaway!'

 

  There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hearwhispers now and then; such as, `Sure, I don't like it, yerhonour, at all, at all!'  `Do as I tell you, you coward!' and atlast she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch inthe air.  This time there were TWO little shrieks, and moresounds of broken glass.  `What a number of cucumber-frames theremust be!' thought Alice.  `I wonder what they'll do next!  As forpulling me out of the window, I only wish they COULD!  I'm sure Idon't want to stay in here any longer!'

  She waited for some time without hearing anything more:  atlast came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of agood many voices all talking together:  she made out the words:`Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em upat this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach halfhigh enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be particular--Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof bear?--Mindthat loose slate--Oh, it's coming down!  Heads below!' (a loudcrash)--`Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's to godown the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! YOU do it!--That I won't,then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says you're togo down the chimney!'

  `Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' saidAlice to herself.  `Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill!I wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal:  this fireplace isnarrow, to be sure; but I THINK I can kick a little!'

  She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, andwaited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of whatsort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney closeabove her:  then, saying to herself `This is Bill,' she gave onesharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.

 

  The first thing she heard was a general chorus of `There goesBill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--`Catch him, you by thehedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--`Holdup his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?What happened to you?  Tell us all about it!'

  Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, (`That's Bill,'thought Alice,) `Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'mbetter now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I knowis, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goeslike a sky-rocket!'

  `So you did, old fellow!' said the others.

 

  `We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; andAlice called out as loud as she could, `If you do.  I'll setDinah at you!'

  There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought toherself, `I wonder what they WILL do next!  If they had anysense, they'd take the roof off.'  After a minute or two, theybegan moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, `Abarrowful will do, to begin with.'

  `A barrowful of WHAT?' thought Alice; but she had not long todoubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles camerattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the face.

`I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted out,`You'd better not do that again!' which produced another deadsilence.

 

  Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were allturning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a brightidea came into her head.  `If I eat one of these cakes,' shethought, `it's sure to make SOME change in my size; and as itcan't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, Isuppose.'

 

  So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to findthat she began shrinking directly.  As soon as she was smallenough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, andfound quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.

The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up bytwo guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.

They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but sheran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in athick wood.

 

  `The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as shewandered about in the wood, `is to grow to my right size again;and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely garden.

I think that will be the best plan.'

  It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly andsimply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not thesmallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peeringabout anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just overher head made her look up in a great hurry.

 

  An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large roundeyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.

`Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she triedhard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all thetime at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case itwould be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her coaxing.

 

  Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit ofstick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumpedinto the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alicedodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being runover; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppymade another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels inits hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was verylike having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting everymoment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistleagain; then the puppy began a series of short charges at thestick, running a very little way forwards each time and a longway back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it satdown a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of itsmouth, and its great eyes half shut.

 

  This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and outof breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in thedistance.

 

  `And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as sheleant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herselfwith one of the leaves:  `I should have liked teaching it tricksvery much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it!  Ohdear!  I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again!  Letme see--how IS it to be managed?  I suppose I ought to eat ordrink something or other; but the great question is, what?'

  The great question certainly was, what?  Alice looked all roundher at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not seeanything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink underthe circumstances.  There was a large mushroom growing near her,about the same height as herself; and when she had looked underit, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to herthat she might as well look and see what was on the top of it.

 

  She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge ofthe mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a largecaterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest noticeof her or of anything else.

 

                            CHAPTER V

                    Advice from a Caterpillar

  The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time insilence:  at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of itsmouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.

 

  `Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

 

  This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation.  Alicereplied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I thinkI must have been changed several times since then.'

  `What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.

`Explain yourself!'

  `I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `becauseI'm not myself, you see.'

  `I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied verypolitely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; andbeing so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

  `It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `butwhen you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, youknow--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'llfeel it a little queer, won't you?'

  `Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;`all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.'

  `You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously.  `Who are YOU?'

  Which brought them back again to the beginning of theconversation.  Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar'smaking such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said,very gravely, `I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.'

  `Why?' said the Caterpillar.

 

  Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could notthink of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be ina VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.

 

  `Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her.  `I've somethingimportant to say!'

  This sounded promising, certainly:  Alice turned and came backagain.

 

  `Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well asshe could.

 

  `No,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing elseto do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worthhearing.  For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, butat last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouthagain, and said, `So you think you're changed, do you?'

  `I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; `I can't remember things asI used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes together!'

  `Can't remember WHAT things?' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Well, I've tried to say "HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE," but itall came different!' Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.

 

  `Repeat, "YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,"' said the Caterpillar.

 

  Alice folded her hands, and began:--

    `You are old, Father William,' the young man said,      `And your hair has become very white;    And yet you incessantly stand on your head--      Do you think, at your age, it is right?'

    `In my youth,' Father William replied to his son,      `I feared it might injure the brain;    But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,      Why, I do it again and again.'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `as I mentioned before,      And have grown most uncommonly fat;    Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--      Pray, what is the reason of that?'

    `In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,      `I kept all my limbs very supple    By the use of this ointment--one shilling the box--      Allow me to sell you a couple?'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `and your jaws are too weak      For anything tougher than suet;    Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--      Pray how did you manage to do it?'

    `In my youth,' said his father, `I took to the law,      And argued each case with my wife;    And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,      Has lasted the rest of my life.'

    `You are old,' said the youth, `one would hardly suppose      That your eye was as steady as ever;    Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--      What made you so awfully clever?'

    `I have answered three questions, and that is enough,'      Said his father; `don't give yourself airs!    Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?      Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!'

 

  `That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Not QUITE right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly; `some of thewords have got altered.'

  `It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillardecidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.

 

  The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

 

  `What size do you want to be?' it asked.

 

  `Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;`only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'

  `I DON'T know,' said the Caterpillar.

 

  Alice said nothing:  she had never been so much contradicted inher life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

 

  `Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.

 

  `Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if youwouldn't mind,' said Alice:  `three inches is such a wretchedheight to be.'

  `It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillarangrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly threeinches high).

 

  `But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.

And she thought of herself, `I wish the creatures wouldn't be soeasily offended!'

  `You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and itput the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

 

  This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again.

In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of itsmouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.  Then it gotdown off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merelyremarking as it went, `One side will make you grow taller, andthe other side will make you grow shorter.'

  `One side of WHAT?  The other side of WHAT?' thought Alice toherself.

 

  `Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she hadasked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.

 

  Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for aminute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and asit was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.

However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as theywould go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.

 

  `And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled alittle of the right-hand bit to try the effect:  the next momentshe felt a violent blow underneath her chin:  it had struck herfoot!

 

  She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, butshe felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinkingrapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.

Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there washardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, andmanaged to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.

 

  `Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone ofdelight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when shefound that her shoulders were nowhere to be found:  all she couldsee, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, whichseemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that layfar below her.

 

  `What CAN all that green stuff be?' said Alice.  `And whereHAVE my shoulders got to?  And oh, my poor hands, how is it Ican't see you?'  She was moving them about as she spoke, but noresult seemed to follow, except a little shaking among thedistant green leaves.

 

  As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to herhead, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delightedto find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,like a serpent.  She had just succeeded in curving it down into agraceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, whichshe found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which shehad been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in ahurry:  a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beatingher violently with its wings.

 

  `Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.

 

  `I'm NOT a serpent!' said Alice indignantly.  `Let me alone!'

  `Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a moresubdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, `I've tried everyway, and nothing seems to suit them!'

  `I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' saidAlice.

 

  `I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I'vetried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; `butthose serpents!  There's no pleasing them!'

  Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was nouse in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.

 

  `As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said thePigeon; `but I must be on the look-out for serpents night andday!  Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'

  `I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who wasbeginning to see its meaning.

 

  `And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,' continuedthe Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, `and just as I wasthinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs comewriggling down from the sky!  Ugh, Serpent!'

  `But I'm NOT a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice.  `I'm a--I'ma--'

 

  `Well!  WHAT are you?' said the Pigeon.  `I can see you'retrying to invent something!'

  `I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as sheremembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.

 

  `A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of thedeepest contempt.  `I've seen a good many little girls in mytime, but never ONE with such a neck as that!  No, no!  You're aserpent; and there's no use denying it.  I suppose you'll betelling me next that you never tasted an egg!'

  `I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a verytruthful child; `but little girls eat eggs quite as much asserpents do, you know.'

  `I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; `but if they do, whythen they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'

  This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silentfor a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity ofadding, `You're looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; andwhat does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or aserpent?'

 

  `It matters a good deal to ME,' said Alice hastily; `but I'mnot looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn'twant YOURS:  I don't like them raw.'

  `Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as itsettled down again into its nest.  Alice crouched down among thetrees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangledamong the branches, and every now and then she had to stop anduntwist it.  After a while she remembered that she still held thepieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work verycarefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, andgrowing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she hadsucceeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.

 

  It was so long since she had been anything near the right size,that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in afew minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual.  `Come,there's half my plan done now!  How puzzling all these changesare!  I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute toanother!  However, I've got back to my right size:  the nextthing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to bedone, I wonder?'  As she said this, she came suddenly upon anopen place, with a little house in it about four feet high.

`Whoever lives there,' thought Alice, `it'll never do to comeupon them THIS size:  why, I should frighten them out of theirwits!'  So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and didnot venture to go near the house till she had brought herselfdown to nine inches high.

 

                           CHAPTER VI

                         Pig and Pepper

  For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, andwondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery camerunning out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footmanbecause he was in livery:  otherwise, judging by his face only,she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the doorwith his knuckles.  It was opened by another footman in livery,with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over theirheads.  She felt very curious to know what it was all about, andcrept a little way out of the wood to listen.

 

  The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a greatletter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over tothe other, saying, in a solemn tone, `For the Duchess.  Aninvitation from the Queen to play croquet.'  The Frog-Footmanrepeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of thewords a little, `From the Queen.  An invitation for the Duchessto play croquet.'

  Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangledtogether.

 

  Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back intothe wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peepedout the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on theground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.

 

  Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.

 

  `There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, `andthat for two reasons.  First, because I'm on the same side of thedoor as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noiseinside, no one could possibly hear you.'  And certainly there wasa most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howlingand sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dishor kettle had been broken to pieces.

 

  `Please, then,' said Alice, `how am I to get in?'

  `There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman wenton without attending to her, `if we had the door between us.  Forinstance, if you were INSIDE, you might knock, and I could letyou out, you know.'  He was looking up into the sky all the timehe was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil.  `Butperhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; `his eyes are soVERY nearly at the top of his head.  But at any rate he mightanswer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated, aloud.

 

  `I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, `till tomorrow--'

  At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large platecame skimming out, straight at the Footman's head:  it justgrazed his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the treesbehind him.

 

  `--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same tone,exactly as if nothing had happened.

 

  `How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.

 

  `ARE you to get in at all?' said the Footman.  `That's thefirst question, you know.'

  It was, no doubt:  only Alice did not like to be told so.

`It's really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, `the way all thecreatures argue.  It's enough to drive one crazy!'

  The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity forrepeating his remark, with variations.  `I shall sit here,' hesaid, `on and off, for days and days.'

  `But what am I to do?' said Alice.

 

  `Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began whistling.

 

  `Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice desperately:`he's perfectly idiotic!'  And she opened the door and went in.

 

  The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full ofsmoke from one end to the other:  the Duchess was sitting on athree-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook wasleaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed tobe full of soup.

 

  `There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said toherself, as well as she could for sneezing.

 

  There was certainly too much of it in the air.  Even theDuchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it wassneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause.  Theonly things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning fromear to ear.

 

  `Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, forshe was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her tospeak first, `why your cat grins like that?'

  `It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, `and that's why.  Pig!'

  She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alicequite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressedto the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went onagain:--

 

  `I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, Ididn't know that cats COULD grin.'

  `They all can,' said the Duchess; `and most of 'em do.'

  `I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.

 

  `You don't know much,' said the Duchess; `and that's a fact.'

  Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thoughtit would be as well to introduce some other subject ofconversation.  While she was trying to fix on one, the cook tookthe cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to workthrowing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby--the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,plates, and dishes.  The Duchess took no notice of them even whenthey hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that itwas quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.

 

  `Oh, PLEASE mind what you're doing!' cried Alice, jumping upand down in an agony of terror.  `Oh, there goes his PRECIOUSnose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close by it, and verynearly carried it off.

 

  `If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in ahoarse growl, `the world would go round a deal faster than itdoes.'

 

  `Which would NOT be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt veryglad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of herknowledge.  `Just think of what work it would make with the dayand night!  You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turnround on its axis--'

  `Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, `chop off her head!'

  Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she meantto take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the soup, andseemed not to be listening, so she went on again:  `Twenty-fourhours, I THINK; or is it twelve?  I--'

  `Oh, don't bother ME,' said the Duchess; `I never could abidefigures!'  And with that she began nursing her child again,singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it aviolent shake at the end of every line:

        `Speak roughly to your little boy,          And beat him when he sneezes:        He only does it to annoy,          Because he knows it teases.'

                    CHORUS.

 

    (In which the cook and the baby joined):--

                `Wow! wow! wow!'

  While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kepttossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thinghowled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--

        `I speak severely to my boy,          I beat him when he sneezes;        For he can thoroughly enjoy          The pepper when he pleases!'

                    CHORUS.

 

                `Wow! wow! wow!'

  `Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess saidto Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke.  `I must go andget ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out ofthe room.  The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,but it just missed her.

 

  Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in alldirections, `just like a star-fish,' thought Alice.  The poorlittle thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as muchas she could do to hold it.

 

  As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,(which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keeptight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent itsundoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air.  `IF Idon't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, `they're sureto kill it in a day or two:  wouldn't it be murder to leave itbehind?'  She said the last words out loud, and the little thinggrunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).  `Don'tgrunt,' said Alice; `that's not at all a proper way of expressingyourself.'

  The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously intoits face to see what was the matter with it.  There could be nodoubt that it had a VERY turn-up nose, much more like a snoutthan a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely small fora baby:  altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing atall.  `But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and lookedinto its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.

 

  No, there were no tears.  `If you're going to turn into a pig,my dear,' said Alice, seriously, `I'll have nothing more to dowith you.  Mind now!'  The poor little thing sobbed again (orgrunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on forsome while in silence.

 

  Alice was just beginning to think to herself, `Now, what am Ito do with this creature when I get it home?' when it gruntedagain, so violently, that she looked down into its face in somealarm.  This time there could be NO mistake about it:  it wasneither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would bequite absurd for her to carry it further.

 

  So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved tosee it trot away quietly into the wood.  `If it had grown up,'she said to herself, `it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.'  And she beganthinking over other children she knew, who might do very well aspigs, and was just saying to herself, `if one only knew the rightway to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeingthe Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off.

 

  The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice.  It looked good-natured, she thought:  still it had VERY long claws and a greatmany teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect.

 

  `Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not atall know whether it would like the name:  however, it onlygrinned a little wider.  `Come, it's pleased so far,' thoughtAlice, and she went on.  `Would you tell me, please, which way Iought to go from here?'

  `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' saidthe Cat.

 

  `I don't much care where--' said Alice.

 

  `Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

 

  `--so long as I get SOMEWHERE,' Alice added as an explanation.

 

  `Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walklong enough.'

  Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried anotherquestion.  `What sort of people live about here?'

  `In THAT direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round,`lives a Hatter:  and in THAT direction,' waving the other paw,`lives a March Hare.  Visit either you like:  they're both mad.'

  `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

 

  `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat:  `we're all mad here.

I'm mad.  You're mad.'

  `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

 

  `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'

  Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on`And how do you know that you're mad?'

  `To begin with,' said the Cat, `a dog's not mad.  You grantthat?'

 

  `I suppose so,' said Alice.

 

  `Well, then,' the Cat went on, `you see, a dog growls when it'sangry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.  Now I growl when I'mpleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry.  Therefore I'm mad.'

  `I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.

 

  `Call it what you like,' said the Cat.  `Do you play croquetwith the Queen to-day?'

  `I should like it very much,' said Alice, `but I haven't beeninvited yet.'

  `You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.

 

  Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so usedto queer things happening.  While she was looking at the placewhere it had been, it suddenly appeared again.

 

  `By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat.  `I'dnearly forgotten to ask.'

  `It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it hadcome back in a natural way.

 

  `I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.

 

  Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but itdid not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in thedirection in which the March Hare was said to live.  `I've seenhatters before,' she said to herself; `the March Hare will bemuch the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't beraving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.'  As she saidthis, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on abranch of a tree.

 

  `Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.

 

  `I said pig,' replied Alice; `and I wish you wouldn't keepappearing and vanishing so suddenly:  you make one quite giddy.'

  `All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite slowly,beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin,which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.

 

  `Well!  I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;`but a grin without a cat!  It's the most curious thing I eversaw in my life!'

  She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of thehouse of the March Hare:  she thought it must be the right house,because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof wasthatched with fur.  It was so large a house, that she did notlike to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthandbit of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high:  eventhen she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself`Suppose it should be raving mad after all!  I almost wish I'dgone to see the Hatter instead!'

                           CHAPTER VII

                         A Mad Tea-Party

  There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it:  aDormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other twowere using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talkingover its head.  `Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,' thought Alice;`only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't mind.'

  The table was a large one, but the three were all crowdedtogether at one corner of it:  `No room!  No room!' they criedout when they saw Alice coming.  `There's PLENTY of room!' saidAlice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at oneend of the table.

 

  `Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

 

  Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on itbut tea.  `I don't see any wine,' she remarked.

 

  `There isn't any,' said the March Hare.

 

  `Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Aliceangrily.

 

  `It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without beinginvited,' said the March Hare.

 

  `I didn't know it was YOUR table,' said Alice; `it's laid for agreat many more than three.'

  `Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter.  He had beenlooking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this washis first speech.

 

  `You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice saidwith some severity; `it's very rude.'

  The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but allhe SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'

  `Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice.  `I'm gladthey've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' sheadded aloud.

 

  `Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?'said the March Hare.

 

  `Exactly so,' said Alice.

 

  `Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went on.

 

  `I do,' Alice hastily replied; `at least--at least I mean whatI say--that's the same thing, you know.'

  `Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter.  `You might justas well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eatwhat I see"!'

  `You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, `that "Ilike what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'

  `You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed tobe talking in his sleep, `that "I breathe when I sleep" is thesame thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'

  `It IS the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and here theconversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute,while Alice thought over all she could remember about ravens andwriting-desks, which wasn't much.

 

  The Hatter was the first to break the silence.  `What day ofthe month is it?' he said, turning to Alice:  he had taken hiswatch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shakingit every now and then, and holding it to his ear.

 

  Alice considered a little, and then said `The fourth.'

  `Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter.  `I told you butterwouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the MarchHare.

 

  `It was the BEST butter,' the March Hare meekly replied.

 

  `Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hattergrumbled:  `you shouldn't have put it in with the bread-knife.'

  The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily:  thenhe dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again:  but hecould think of nothing better to say than his first remark, `Itwas the BEST butter, you know.'

  Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.

`What a funny watch!' she remarked.  `It tells the day of themonth, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'

  `Why should it?' muttered the Hatter.  `Does YOUR watch tellyou what year it is?'

  `Of course not,' Alice replied very readily:  `but that'sbecause it stays the same year for such a long time together.'

  `Which is just the case with MINE,' said the Hatter.

 

  Alice felt dreadfully puzzled.  The Hatter's remark seemed tohave no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.

`I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as shecould.

 

  `The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poureda little hot tea upon its nose.

 

  The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, withoutopening its eyes, `Of course, of course; just what I was going toremark myself.'

  `Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning toAlice again.

 

  `No, I give it up,' Alice replied:  `what's the answer?'

  `I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.

 

  `Nor I,' said the March Hare.

 

  Alice sighed wearily.  `I think you might do something betterwith the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles thathave no answers.'

  `If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `youwouldn't talk about wasting IT.  It's HIM.'

  `I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

 

  `Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his headcontemptuously.  `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'

  `Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied:  `but I know I have tobeat time when I learn music.'

  `Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter.  `He won't standbeating.  Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd doalmost anything you liked with the clock.  For instance, supposeit were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes theclock in a twinkling!  Half-past one, time for dinner!'

  (`I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in awhisper.)

 

  `That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:`but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'

  `Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter:  `but you could keepit to half-past one as long as you liked.'

  `Is that the way YOU manage?' Alice asked.

 

  The Hatter shook his head mournfully.  `Not I!' he replied.

`We quarrelled last March--just before HE went mad, you know--'(pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) `--it was at thegreat concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had to sing

            "Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!            How I wonder what you're at!"

You know the song, perhaps?'

  `I've heard something like it,' said Alice.

 

  `It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, `in this way:--

            "Up above the world you fly,            Like a tea-tray in the sky.

                    Twinkle, twinkle--"'

Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep`Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--' and went on so long thatthey had to pinch it to make it stop.

 

  `Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,`when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering thetime!  Off with his head!"'

  `How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.

 

  `And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,`he won't do a thing I ask!  It's always six o'clock now.'

  A bright idea came into Alice's head.  `Is that the reason somany tea-things are put out here?' she asked.

 

  `Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh:  `it's alwaystea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between whiles.'

  `Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.

 

  `Exactly so,' said the Hatter:  `as the things get used up.'

  `But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Aliceventured to ask.

 

  `Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,yawning.  `I'm getting tired of this.  I vote the young ladytells us a story.'

  `I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed atthe proposal.

 

  `Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried.  `Wake up,Dormouse!'  And they pinched it on both sides at once.

 

  The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes.  `I wasn't asleep,' hesaid in a hoarse, feeble voice:  `I heard every word you fellowswere saying.'

  `Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.

 

  `Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.

 

  `And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, `or you'll be asleepagain before it's done.'

  `Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' theDormouse began in a great hurry; `and their names were Elsie,Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'

  `What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a greatinterest in questions of eating and drinking.

 

  `They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking aminute or two.

 

  `They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gentlyremarked; `they'd have been ill.'

  `So they were,' said the Dormouse; `VERY ill.'

  Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary waysof living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she wenton:  `But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'

  `Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, veryearnestly.

 

  `I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, `soI can't take more.'

  `You mean you can't take LESS,' said the Hatter:  `it's veryeasy to take MORE than nothing.'

  `Nobody asked YOUR opinion,' said Alice.

 

  `Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter askedtriumphantly.

 

  Alice did not quite know what to say to this:  so she helpedherself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to theDormouse, and repeated her question.  `Why did they live at thebottom of a well?'

  The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, andthen said, `It was a treacle-well.'

  `There's no such thing!'  Alice was beginning very angrily, butthe Hatter and the March Hare went `Sh! sh!' and the Dormousesulkily remarked, `If you can't be civil, you'd better finish thestory for yourself.'

  `No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; `I won't interruptagain.  I dare say there may be ONE.'

  `One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly.  However, heconsented to go on.  `And so these three little sisters--theywere learning to draw, you know--'

  `What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her promise.

 

  `Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all thistime.

 

  `I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter:  `let's all moveone place on.'

  He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him:  theMarch Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice ratherunwillingly took the place of the March Hare.  The Hatter was theonly one who got any advantage from the change:  and Alice was agood deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upsetthe milk-jug into his plate.

 

  Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she beganvery cautiously:  `But I don't understand.  Where did they drawthe treacle from?'

  `You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; `soI should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,stupid?'

 

  `But they were IN the well,' Alice said to the Dormouse, notchoosing to notice this last remark.

 

  `Of course they were', said the Dormouse; `--well in.'

  This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormousego on for some time without interrupting it.

 

  `They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning andrubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; `and they drewall manner of things--everything that begins with an M--'

  `Why with an M?' said Alice.

 

  `Why not?' said the March Hare.

 

  Alice was silent.

 

  The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was goingoff into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke upagain with a little shriek, and went on:  `--that begins with anM, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you eversee such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'

  `Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, `Idon't think--'

  `Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.

 

  This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear:  she gotup in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleepinstantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of hergoing, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping thatthey would call after her:  the last time she saw them, they weretrying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

 

  `At any rate I'll never go THERE again!' said Alice as shepicked her way through the wood.  `It's the stupidest tea-party Iever was at in all my life!'

  Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had adoor leading right into it.  `That's very curious!' she thought.

`But everything's curious today.  I think I may as well go in at once.'And in she went.

 

  Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to thelittle glass table.  `Now, I'll manage better this time,'she said to herself, and began by taking the little golden key,and unlocking the door that led into the garden.  Then she wentto work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of itin her pocket) till she was about a foot high:  then she walked downthe little passage:  and THEN--she found herself at last in thebeautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool fountains.

 

 

 

                          CHAPTER VIII

                   The Queen's Croquet-Ground

 

  A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden:  theroses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners atit, busily painting them red.  Alice thought this a very curiousthing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came upto them she heard one of them say, `Look out now, Five!  Don't gosplashing paint over me like that!'

  `I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; `Seven joggedmy elbow.'

  On which Seven looked up and said, `That's right, Five!  Alwayslay the blame on others!'

  `YOU'D better not talk!' said Five.  `I heard the Queen say onlyyesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'

  `What for?' said the one who had spoken first.

 

  `That's none of YOUR business, Two!' said Seven.

 

  `Yes, it IS his business!' said Five, `and I'll tell him--itwas for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions.'

  Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun `Well, of allthe unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, asshe stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly:  theothers looked round also, and all of them bowed low.

 

  `Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, `why you arepainting those roses?'

  Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.  Two began in alow voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought tohave been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake;and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our headscut off, you know.  So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, aforeshe comes, to--'  At this moment Five, who had been anxiouslylooking across the garden, called out `The Queen!  The Queen!'and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upontheir faces.  There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alicelooked round, eager to see the Queen.

 

  First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shapedlike the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands andfeet at the corners:  next the ten courtiers; these wereornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as thesoldiers did.  After these came the royal children; there wereten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along handin hand, in couples:  they were all ornamented with hearts.  Nextcame the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alicerecognised the White Rabbit:  it was talking in a hurried nervousmanner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by withoutnoticing her.  Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying theKing's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all thisgrand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.

 

  Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down onher face like the three gardeners, but she could not rememberever having heard of such a rule at processions; `and besides,what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, `if peoplehad all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see it?'So she stood still where she was, and waited.

 

  When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stoppedand looked at her, and the Queen said severely `Who is this?'She said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in reply.

 

  `Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,turning to Alice, she went on, `What's your name, child?'

  `My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice verypolitely; but she added, to herself, `Why, they're only a pack ofcards, after all.  I needn't be afraid of them!'

  `And who are THESE?' said the Queen, pointing to the threegardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, asthey were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backswas the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whetherthey were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of herown children.

 

  `How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.

`It's no business of MINE.'

  The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at herfor a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head!Off--'

 

  `Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and theQueen was silent.

 

  The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said`Consider, my dear:  she is only a child!'

  The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave`Turn them over!'

  The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.

 

  `Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and thethree gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to theKing, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.

 

  `Leave off that!' screamed the Queen.  `You make me giddy.'And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What HAVE youbeen doing here?'

  `May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying--'

  `I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining theroses.  `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on,three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunategardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.

 

  `You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into alarge flower-pot that stood near.  The three soldiers wanderedabout for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietlymarched off after the others.

 

  `Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

 

  `Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiersshouted in reply.

 

  `That's right!' shouted the Queen.  `Can you play croquet?'

  The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the questionwas evidently meant for her.

 

  `Yes!' shouted Alice.

 

  `Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined theprocession, wondering very much what would happen next.

 

  `It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.

She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiouslyinto her face.

 

  `Very,' said Alice:  `--where's the Duchess?'

  `Hush!  Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone.  Helooked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raisedhimself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, andwhispered `She's under sentence of execution.'

  `What for?' said Alice.

 

  `Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.

 

  `No, I didn't,' said Alice:  `I don't think it's at all a pity.

I said "What for?"'

  `She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began.  Alice gave alittle scream of laughter.  `Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in afrightened tone.  `The Queen will hear you!  You see, she camerather late, and the Queen said--'

  `Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,and people began running about in all directions, tumbling upagainst each other; however, they got settled down in a minute ortwo, and the game began.  Alice thought she had never seen such acurious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges andfurrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets liveflamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and tostand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.

 

  The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing herflamingo:  she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightenedout, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, itWOULD twist itself round and look up in her face, with such apuzzled expression that she could not help bursting out laughing:and when she had got its head down, and was going to begin again,it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had unrolleditself, and was in the act of crawling away:  besides all this,there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever shewanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up soldierswere always getting up and walking off to other parts of theground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a verydifficult game indeed.

 

  The players all played at once without waiting for turns,quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and ina very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and wentstamping about, and shouting `Off with his head!' or `Off withher head!' about once in a minute.

 

  Alice began to feel very uneasy:  to be sure, she had not asyet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it mighthappen any minute, `and then,' thought she, `what would become ofme?  They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the greatwonder is, that there's any one left alive!'

  She was looking about for some way of escape, and wonderingwhether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed acurious appearance in the air:  it puzzled her very much atfirst, but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out tobe a grin, and she said to herself `It's the Cheshire Cat:  now Ishall have somebody to talk to.'

  `How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there wasmouth enough for it to speak with.

 

  Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded.  `It's nouse speaking to it,' she thought, `till its ears have come, or atleast one of them.'  In another minute the whole head appeared,and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of thegame, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her.  TheCat seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, andno more of it appeared.

 

  `I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in rathera complaining tone, `and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can'thear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any rules inparticular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to them--andyou've no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive;for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through nextwalking about at the other end of the ground--and I should havecroqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when itsaw mine coming!'

  `How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.

 

  `Not at all,' said Alice:  `she's so extremely--'  Just thenshe noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening:  soshe went on, `--likely to win, that it's hardly worth whilefinishing the game.'

  The Queen smiled and passed on.

 

  `Who ARE you talking to?' said the King, going up to Alice, andlooking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

 

  `It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice:  `allow meto introduce it.'

  `I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King:`however, it may kiss my hand if it likes.'

  `I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.

 

  `Don't be impertinent,' said the King, `and don't look at melike that!'  He got behind Alice as he spoke.

 

  `A cat may look at a king,' said Alice.  `I've read that insome book, but I don't remember where.'

  `Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, andhe called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, `My dear!  Iwish you would have this cat removed!'

  The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, greator small.  `Off with his head!' she said, without even lookinground.

 

  `I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly, andhe hurried off.

 

  Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the gamewas going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,screaming with passion.  She had already heard her sentence threeof the players to be executed for having missed their turns, andshe did not like the look of things at all, as the game was insuch confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn ornot.  So she went in search of her hedgehog.

 

  The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting oneof them with the other:  the only difficulty was, that herflamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, whereAlice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly upinto a tree.

 

  By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:`but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, `as all the archesare gone from this side of the ground.'  So she tucked it awayunder her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back fora little more conversation with her friend.

 

  When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised tofind quite a large crowd collected round it:  there was a disputegoing on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, whowere all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,and looked very uncomfortable.

 

  The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three tosettle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeedto make out exactly what they said.

 

  The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off ahead unless there was a body to cut it off from:  that he hadnever had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to beginat HIS time of life.

 

  The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could bebeheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.

 

  The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done aboutit in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.

(It was this last remark that had made the whole party look sograve and anxious.)

  Alice could think of nothing else to say but `It belongs to theDuchess:  you'd better ask HER about it.'

  `She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner:  `fetchher here.'  And the executioner went off like an arrow.

 

   The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,by the time he had come back with the Dutchess, it had entirelydisappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and downlooking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the game.

 

                           CHAPTER IX

                     The Mock Turtle's Story

  `You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear oldthing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionatelyinto Alice's, and they walked off together.

 

  Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, andthought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that hadmade her so savage when they met in the kitchen.

 

  `When I'M a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a veryhopeful tone though), `I won't have any pepper in my kitchen ATALL.  Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always pepper thatmakes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much pleased athaving found out a new kind of rule, `and vinegar that makes themsour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and barley-sugarand such things that make children sweet-tempered.  I only wishpeople knew that:  then they wouldn't be so stingy about it, youknow--'

 

  She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was alittle startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.

`You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes youforget to talk.  I can't tell you just now what the moral of thatis, but I shall remember it in a bit.'

  `Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.

 

  `Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess.  `Everything's got amoral, if only you can find it.'  And she squeezed herself upcloser to Alice's side as she spoke.

 

  Alice did not much like keeping so close to her:  first,because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she wasexactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin.  However, she did notlike to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.

 

  `The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way ofkeeping up the conversation a little.

 

  `'Tis so,' said the Duchess:  `and the moral of that is--"Oh,'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'

  `Somebody said,' Alice whispered, `that it's done by everybodyminding their own business!'

  `Ah, well!  It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,`and the moral of THAT is--"Take care of the sense, and thesounds will take care of themselves."'

  `How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought toherself.

 

  `I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round yourwaist,' the Duchess said after a pause:  `the reason is, that I'mdoubtful about the temper of your flamingo.  Shall I try theexperiment?'

  `HE might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling at allanxious to have the experiment tried.

 

  `Very true,' said the Duchess:  `flamingoes and mustard bothbite.  And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flocktogether."'

  `Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.

 

  `Right, as usual,' said the Duchess:  `what a clear way youhave of putting things!'

  `It's a mineral, I THINK,' said Alice.

 

  `Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agreeto everything that Alice said; `there's a large mustard-mine nearhere.  And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, theless there is of yours."'

  `Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to thislast remark, `it's a vegetable.  It doesn't look like one, but itis.'

 

  `I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; `and the moral ofthat is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it putmore simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise thanwhat it might appear to others that what you were or might havebeen was not otherwise than what you had been would have appearedto them to be otherwise."'

  `I think I should understand that better,' Alice said verypolitely, `if I had it written down:  but I can't quite follow itas you say it.'

  `That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchessreplied, in a pleased tone.

 

  `Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'said Alice.

 

  `Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess.  `I make youa present of everything I've said as yet.'

  `A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice.  `I'm glad they don'tgive birthday presents like that!'  But she did not venture tosay it out loud.

 

  `Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of hersharp little chin.

 

  `I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she wasbeginning to feel a little worried.

 

  `Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, `as pigs have to fly;and the m--'

  But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice diedaway, even in the middle of her favourite word `moral,' and thearm that was linked into hers began to tremble.  Alice looked up,and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,frowning like a thunderstorm.

 

  `A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weakvoice.

 

  `Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping onthe ground as she spoke; `either you or your head must be off,and that in about half no time!  Take your choice!'

  The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.

 

  `Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and Alicewas too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed herback to the croquet-ground.

 

  The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,and were resting in the shade:  however, the moment they saw her,they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that amoment's delay would cost them their lives.

 

  All the time they were playing the Queen never left offquarrelling with the other players, and shouting `Off with hishead!' or `Off with her head!'  Those whom she sentenced weretaken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leaveoff being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an houror so there were no arches left, and all the players, except theKing, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence ofexecution.

 

  Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said toAlice, `Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'

  `No,' said Alice.  `I don't even know what a Mock Turtle is.'

  `It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the Queen.

 

  `I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.

 

  `Come on, then,' said the Queen, `and he shall tell you hishistory,'

 

  As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a lowvoice, to the company generally, `You are all pardoned.'  `Come,THAT'S a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had felt quiteunhappy at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

 

  They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in thesun.  (IF you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)`Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, `and take this young lady tosee the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history.  I must go back andsee after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon.  Alice did not quite likethe look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it wouldbe quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savageQueen:  so she waited.

 

  The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes:  then it watched theQueen till she was out of sight:  then it chuckled.  `What fun!'said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.

 

  `What IS the fun?' said Alice.

 

  `Why, SHE,' said the Gryphon.  `It's all her fancy, that:  theynever executes nobody, you know.  Come on!'

  `Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she wentslowly after it:  `I never was so ordered about in all my life,never!'

 

  They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in thedistance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heartwould break.  She pitied him deeply.  `What is his sorrow?' sheasked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in thesame words as before, `It's all his fancy, that:  he hasn't gotno sorrow, you know.  Come on!'

  So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them withlarge eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

 

  `This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, `she wants for toknow your history, she do.'

  `I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollowtone:  `sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I'vefinished.'

  So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes.  Alicethought to herself, `I don't see how he can EVEN finish, if hedoesn't begin.'  But she waited patiently.

 

  `Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, `I wasa real Turtle.'

  These words were followed by a very long silence, broken onlyby an occasional exclamation of `Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, andthe constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle.  Alice was verynearly getting up and saying, `Thank you, sir, for yourinteresting story,' but she could not help thinking there MUST bemore to come, so she sat still and said nothing.

 

  `When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, morecalmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, `we went toschool in the sea.  The master was an old Turtle--we used to callhim Tortoise--'

  `Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice asked.

 

  `We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the MockTurtle angrily:  `really you are very dull!'

  `You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simplequestion,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent andlooked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth.  Atlast the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, `Drive on, old fellow!Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:

  `Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believeit--'

 

  `I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.

 

  `You did,' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could speakagain.  The Mock Turtle went on.

 

  `We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to schoolevery day--'

  `I'VE been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; `you needn't beso proud as all that.'

  `With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

 

  `Yes,' said Alice, `we learned French and music.'

  `And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.

 

  `Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the MockTurtle in a tone of great relief.  `Now at OURS they had at theend of the bill, "French, music, AND WASHING--extra."'

  `You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; `living at thebottom of the sea.'

  `I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with asigh.  `I only took the regular course.'

  `What was that?' inquired Alice.

 

  `Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the MockTurtle replied; `and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'

  `I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.  `What is it?'

  The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise.  `What!  Neverheard of uglifying!' it exclaimed.  `You know what to beautify is,I suppose?'

  `Yes,' said Alice doubtfully:  `it means--to--make--anything--prettier.'

  `Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, `if you don't know what touglify is, you ARE a simpleton.'

  Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions aboutit, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said `What else had youto learn?'

  `Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, countingoff the subjects on his flappers, `--Mystery, ancient and modern,with Seaography:  then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an oldconger-eel, that used to come once a week:  HE taught usDrawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'

  `What was THAT like?' said Alice.

 

  `Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said:  `I'mtoo stiff.  And the Gryphon never learnt it.'

  `Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon:  `I went to the Classicsmaster, though.  He was an old crab, HE was.'

  `I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh:  `hetaught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'

  `So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.

 

  `And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in ahurry to change the subject.

 

  `Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: `nine thenext, and so on.'

  `What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.

 

  `That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphonremarked:  `because they lessen from day to day.'

  This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over alittle before she made her next remark.  `Then the eleventh daymust have been a holiday?'

  `Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on eagerly.

 

  `That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in avery decided tone:  `tell her something about the games now.'

                            CHAPTER X

                      The Lobster Quadrille

  The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapperacross his eyes.  He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but fora minute or two sobs choked his voice.  `Same as if he had a bonein his throat,' said the Gryphon:  and it set to work shaking himand punching him in the back.  At last the Mock Turtle recoveredhis voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went onagain:--

 

  `You may not have lived much under the sea--' (`I haven't,' said Alice)--`and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster--'(Alice began to say `I once tasted--' but checked herself hastily,and said `No, never') `--so you can have no idea what a delightfulthing a Lobster Quadrille is!'

  `No, indeed,' said Alice.  `What sort of a dance is it?'

  `Why,' said the Gryphon, `you first form into a line along the sea-shore--'

  `Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle.  `Seals, turtles, salmon, and so on;then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way--'

  `THAT generally takes some time,' interrupted the Gryphon.

 

  `--you advance twice--'

  `Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.

 

  `Of course,' the Mock Turtle said:  `advance twice, set topartners--'

  `--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued theGryphon.

 

  `Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, `you throw the--'

  `The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.

 

  `--as far out to sea as you can--'

  `Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.

 

  `Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,capering wildly about.

 

  `Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice.

 

  `Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said theMock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures,who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, satdown again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.

 

  `It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.

 

  `Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `Very much indeed,' said Alice.

 

  `Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to theGryphon.  `We can do without lobsters, you know.  Which shallsing?'

 

  `Oh, YOU sing,' said the Gryphon.  `I've forgotten the words.'

  So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every nowand then treading on her toes when they passed too close, andwaving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtlesang this, very slowly and sadly:--

`"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.

"There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.

See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join thedance?

 

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join thedance?

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join thedance?

 

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will beWhen they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to                                                      sea!"But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look                                                       askance--Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the   dance.

    Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join        the dance.

    Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join        the dance.

 

`"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.

"There is another shore, you know, upon the other side.

The further off from England the nearer is to France--Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.

 

    Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the         dance?    Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the         dance?"'

  `Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' saidAlice, feeling very glad that it was over at last:  `and I do solike that curious song about the whiting!'

  `Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, `they--you'veseen them, of course?'

  `Yes,' said Alice, `I've often seen them at dinn--' shechecked herself hastily.

 

  `I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, `butif you've seen them so often, of course you know what they'relike.'

 

  `I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully.  `They have theirtails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'

  `You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle:`crumbs would all wash off in the sea.  But they HAVE their tailsin their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtleyawned and shut his eyes.--`Tell her about the reason and allthat,' he said to the Gryphon.

 

  `The reason is,' said the Gryphon, `that they WOULD go withthe lobsters to the dance.  So they got thrown out to sea.  Sothey had to fall a long way.  So they got their tails fast intheir mouths.  So they couldn't get them out again.  That's all.'

  `Thank you,' said Alice, `it's very interesting.  I never knewso much about a whiting before.'

  `I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said theGryphon.  `Do you know why it's called a whiting?'

  `I never thought about it,' said Alice.  `Why?'

  `IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES.' the Gryphon replied verysolemnly.

 

  Alice was thoroughly puzzled.  `Does the boots and shoes!' sherepeated in a wondering tone.

 

  `Why, what are YOUR shoes done with?' said the Gryphon.  `Imean, what makes them so shiny?'

  Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before shegave her answer.  `They're done with blacking, I believe.'

  `Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deepvoice, `are done with a whiting.  Now you know.'

  `And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of greatcuriosity.

 

  `Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied ratherimpatiently:  `any shrimp could have told you that.'

  `If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts werestill running on the song, `I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keepback, please:  we don't want YOU with us!"'

  `They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtlesaid:  `no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'

  `Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great surprise.

 

  `Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle:  `why, if a fish cameto ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "Withwhat porpoise?"'

  `Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.

 

  `I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offendedtone.  And the Gryphon added `Come, let's hear some of YOURadventures.'

  `I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'said Alice a little timidly:  `but it's no use going back toyesterday, because I was a different person then.'

  `Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `No, no!  The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in animpatient tone:  `explanations take such a dreadful time.'

  So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time whenshe first saw the White Rabbit.  She was a little nervous aboutit just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one oneach side, and opened their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but shegained courage as she went on.  Her listeners were perfectlyquiet till she got to the part about her repeating `YOU ARE OLD,FATHER WILLIAM,' to the Caterpillar, and the words all comingdifferent, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said`That's very curious.'

  `It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the Gryphon.

 

  `It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeatedthoughtfully.  `I should like to hear her try and repeatsomething now.  Tell her to begin.'  He looked at the Gryphon asif he thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.

 

  `Stand up and repeat "'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD,"' saidthe Gryphon.

 

  `How the creatures order one about, and make one repeatlessons!' thought Alice; `I might as well be at school at once.'However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was sofull of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she wassaying, and the words came very queer indeed:--

    `'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,    "You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair."    As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose    Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.'

              [later editions continued as follows    When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,    And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,    But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,    His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

  `That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'said the Gryphon.

 

  `Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; `but itsounds uncommon nonsense.'

  Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in herhands, wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural wayagain.

 

  `I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock Turtle.

 

  `She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily.  `Go on withthe next verse.'

  `But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted.  `How COULDhe turn them out with his nose, you know?'

  `It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but wasdreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change thesubject.

 

  `Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:`it begins "I passed by his garden."'

  Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it wouldall come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--

    `I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye,    How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'

        [later editions continued as follows    The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,    While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.

    When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,    Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:    While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,    And concluded the banquet--]

  `What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtleinterrupted, `if you don't explain it as you go on?  It's by farthe most confusing thing I ever heard!'

  `Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon:  andAlice was only too glad to do so.

 

  `Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' theGryphon went on.  `Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing youa song?'

 

  `Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a ratheroffended tone, `Hm!  No accounting for tastes!  Sing her"Turtle Soup," will you, old fellow?'

  The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimeschoked with sobs, to sing this:--

    `Beautiful Soup, so rich and green,    Waiting in a hot tureen!    Who for such dainties would not stoop?    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!    Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!    Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,        Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

    `Beautiful Soup!  Who cares for fish,    Game, or any other dish?    Who would not give all else for two p    ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?    Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!        Beau--ootiful Soo--oop!    Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,        Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'

  `Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle hadjust begun to repeat it, when a cry of `The trial's beginning!'was heard in the distance.

 

  `Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.

 

  `What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphononly answered `Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and morefaintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, themelancholy words:--

    `Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,        Beautiful, beautiful Soup!'

                           CHAPTER XI

                      Who Stole the Tarts?

  The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne whenthey arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sortsof little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier oneach side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in theother.  In the very middle of the court was a table, with a largedish of tarts upon it:  they looked so good, that it made Alicequite hungry to look at them--`I wish they'd get the trial done,'she thought, `and hand round the refreshments!'  But there seemedto be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything abouther, to pass away the time.

 

  Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she hadread about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find thatshe knew the name of nearly everything there.  `That's thejudge,' she said to herself, `because of his great wig.'

  The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crownover the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how hedid it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainlynot becoming.

 

  `And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, `and those twelvecreatures,' (she was obliged to say `creatures,' you see, becausesome of them were animals, and some were birds,) `I suppose theyare the jurors.'  She said this last word two or three times overto herself, being rather proud of it:  for she thought, andrightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew themeaning of it at all.  However, `jury-men' would have done justas well.

 

  The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.

`What are they doing?'  Alice whispered to the Gryphon.  `Theycan't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's begun.'

  `They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered inreply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of thetrial.'

 

  `Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, butshe stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, `Silence inthe court!' and the King put on his spectacles and lookedanxiously round, to make out who was talking.

 

  Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over theirshoulders, that all the jurors were writing down `stupid things!'on their slates, and she could even make out that one of themdidn't know how to spell `stupid,' and that he had to ask hisneighbour to tell him.  `A nice muddle their slates'll be inbefore the trial's over!' thought Alice.

 

  One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked.  This of course,Alice could not stand, and she went round the court and gotbehind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking itaway.  She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it wasBill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become ofit; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to writewith one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of verylittle use, as it left no mark on the slate.

 

  `Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.

 

  On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, andthen unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--

    `The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,          All on a summer day:      The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,          And took them quite away!'

  `Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.

 

  `Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted.  `There'sa great deal to come before that!'

  `Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbitblew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, `Firstwitness!'

 

  The first witness was the Hatter.  He came in with a teacup inone hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other.  `I begpardon, your Majesty,' he began, `for bringing these in:  but Ihadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'

  `You ought to have finished,' said the King.  `When did youbegin?'

 

  The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him intothe court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse.  `Fourteenth of March, Ithink it was,' he said.

 

  `Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.

 

  `Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.

 

  `Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the juryeagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and thenadded them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.

 

  `Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.

 

  `It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.

 

  `Stolen!' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, whoinstantly made a memorandum of the fact.

 

  `I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;`I've none of my own.  I'm a hatter.'

  Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at theHatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.

 

  `Give your evidence,' said the King; `and don't be nervous, orI'll have you executed on the spot.'

  This did not seem to encourage the witness at all:  he keptshifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at theQueen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of histeacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

 

  Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, whichpuzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was:  she wasbeginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first shewould get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts shedecided to remain where she was as long as there was room forher.

 

  `I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who wassitting next to her.  `I can hardly breathe.'

  `I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly:  `I'm growing.'

  `You've no right to grow here,' said the Dormouse.

 

  `Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly:  `you knowyou're growing too.'

  `Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace,' said the Dormouse:`not in that ridiculous fashion.'  And he got up very sulkilyand crossed over to the other side of the court.

 

  All this time the Queen had never left off staring at theHatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said toone of the officers of the court, `Bring me the list of thesingers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hattertrembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.

 

  `Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, `or I'll haveyou executed, whether you're nervous or not.'

  `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in atrembling voice, `--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a weekor so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--andthe twinkling of the tea--'

  `The twinkling of the what?' said the King.

 

  `It began with the tea,' the Hatter replied.

 

  `Of course twinkling begins with a T!' said the King sharply.

`Do you take me for a dunce?  Go on!'

  `I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, `and most thingstwinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'

  `I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.

 

  `You did!' said the Hatter.

 

  `I deny it!' said the March Hare.

 

  `He denies it,' said the King:  `leave out that part.'

  `Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too:  but theDormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.

 

  `After that,' continued the Hatter, `I cut some more bread-and-butter--'

  `But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.

 

  `That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.

 

  `You MUST remember,' remarked the King, `or I'll have youexecuted.'

  The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,and went down on one knee.  `I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' hebegan.

 

  `You're a very poor speaker,' said the King.

 

  Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediatelysuppressed by the officers of the court.  (As that is rather ahard word, I will just explain to you how it was done.  They hada large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings:into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then satupon it.)

 

  `I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice.  `I've so oftenread in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was someattempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by theofficers of the court," and I never understood what it meanttill now.'

  `If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'continued the King.

 

  `I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter:  `I'm on the floor, asit is.'

 

  `Then you may SIT down,' the King replied.

 

  Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.

 

  `Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice.  `Now weshall get on better.'

  `I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxiouslook at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.

 

  `You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left thecourt, without even waiting to put his shoes on.

 

  `--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to oneof the officers:  but the Hatter was out of sight before theofficer could get to the door.

 

  `Call the next witness!' said the King.

 

  The next witness was the Duchess's cook.  She carried thepepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even beforeshe got into the court, by the way the people near the door begansneezing all at once.

 

  `Give your evidence,' said the King.

 

  `Shan't,' said the cook.

 

  The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in alow voice, `Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS witness.'

  `Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholyair, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook tillhis eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, `Whatare tarts made of?'

  `Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.

 

  `Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.

 

  `Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out.  `Behead thatDormouse!  Turn that Dormouse out of court!  Suppress him!  Pinchhim!  Off with his whiskers!'

  For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting theDormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled downagain, the cook had disappeared.

 

  `Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.

`Call the next witness.'  And he added in an undertone to theQueen, `Really, my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness.

It quite makes my forehead ache!'

  Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,`--for they haven't got much evidence YET,' she said to herself.

Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the topof his shrill little voice, the name `Alice!'

                           CHAPTER XII

                        Alice's Evidence

  `Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of themoment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and shejumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box withthe edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the headsof the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, remindingher very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upsetthe week before.

 

  `Oh, I BEG your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of greatdismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could,for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, andshe had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at onceand put back into the jury-box, or they would die.

 

  `The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very gravevoice, `until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--ALL,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice ashe said do.

 

  Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, shehad put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thingwas waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unableto move.  She soon got it out again, and put it right; `not thatit signifies much,' she said to herself; `I should think itwould be QUITE as much use in the trial one way up as the other.'

  As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock ofbeing upset, and their slates and pencils had been found andhanded back to them, they set to work very diligently to writeout a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemedtoo much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,gazing up into the roof of the court.

 

  `What do you know about this business?' the King said toAlice.

 

  `Nothing,' said Alice.

 

  `Nothing WHATEVER?' persisted the King.

 

  `Nothing whatever,' said Alice.

 

  `That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.

They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, whenthe White Rabbit interrupted:  `UNimportant, your Majesty means,of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but frowning andmaking faces at him as he spoke.

 

  `UNimportant, of course, I meant,' the King hastily said, andwent on to himself in an undertone, `important--unimportant--unimportant--important--' as if he were trying which wordsounded best.

 

  Some of the jury wrote it down `important,' and some`unimportant.'  Alice could see this, as she was near enough tolook over their slates; `but it doesn't matter a bit,' shethought to herself.

 

  At this moment the King, who had been for some time busilywriting in his note-book, cackled out `Silence!' and read outfrom his book, `Rule Forty-two.  ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILEHIGH TO LEAVE THE COURT.'

  Everybody looked at Alice.

 

  `I'M not a mile high,' said Alice.

 

  `You are,' said the King.

 

  `Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.

 

  `Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice:  `besides,that's not a regular rule:  you invented it just now.'

  `It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.

 

  `Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.

 

  The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.

`Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, tremblingvoice.

 

  `There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' saidthe White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; `this paper hasjust been picked up.'

  `What's in it?' said the Queen.

 

  `I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, `but it seemsto be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to somebody.'

  `It must have been that,' said the King, `unless it waswritten to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'

  `Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.

 

  `It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; `in fact,there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE.'  He unfolded the paperas he spoke, and added `It isn't a letter, after all:  it's a setof verses.'

  `Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another ofthey jurymen.

 

  `No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, `and that's thequeerest thing about it.'  (The jury all looked puzzled.)

  `He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.

(The jury all brightened up again.)

  `Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, `I didn't write it, andthey can't prove I did:  there's no name signed at the end.'

  `If you didn't sign it,' said the King, `that only makes thematter worse.  You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'dhave signed your name like an honest man.'

  There was a general clapping of hands at this:  it was thefirst really clever thing the King had said that day.

 

  `That PROVES his guilt,' said the Queen.

 

  `It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice.  `Why, you don'teven know what they're about!'

  `Read them,' said the King.

 

  The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.  `Where shall I begin,please your Majesty?' he asked.

 

  `Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, `and go ontill you come to the end:  then stop.'

  These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--

        `They told me you had been to her,          And mentioned me to him:        She gave me a good character,          But said I could not swim.

 

        He sent them word I had not gone          (We know it to be true):        If she should push the matter on,          What would become of you?

        I gave her one, they gave him two,          You gave us three or more;        They all returned from him to you,          Though they were mine before.

 

        If I or she should chance to be          Involved in this affair,        He trusts to you to set them free,          Exactly as we were.

 

        My notion was that you had been          (Before she had this fit)        An obstacle that came between          Him, and ourselves, and it.

 

        Don't let him know she liked them best,          For this must ever be        A secret, kept from all the rest,          Between yourself and me.'

  `That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'said the King, rubbing his hands; `so now let the jury--'

  `If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she hadgrown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bitafraid of interrupting him,) `I'll give him sixpence.  _I_ don'tbelieve there's an atom of meaning in it.'

  The jury all wrote down on their slates, `SHE doesn't believethere's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them attempted toexplain the paper.

 

  `If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, `that saves aworld of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any.  Andyet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on hisknee, and looking at them with one eye; `I seem to see somemeaning in them, after all.  "--SAID I COULD NOT SWIM--" youcan't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.

 

  The Knave shook his head sadly.  `Do I look like it?' he said.

(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)

  `All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on mutteringover the verses to himself:  `"WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE--" that'sthe jury, of course-- "I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO--" why,that must be what he did with the tarts, you know--'

  `But, it goes on "THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU,"' saidAlice.

 

  `Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing tothe tarts on the table.  `Nothing can be clearer than THAT.

Then again--"BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT--"  you never had fits, mydear, I think?' he said to the Queen.

 

  `Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at theLizard as she spoke.  (The unfortunate little Bill had left offwriting on his slate with one finger, as he found it made nomark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that wastrickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)

  `Then the words don't FIT you,' said the King, looking roundthe court with a smile.  There was a dead silence.

 

  `It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, andeverybody laughed, `Let the jury consider their verdict,' theKing said, for about the twentieth time that day.

 

  `No, no!' said the Queen.  `Sentence first--verdict afterwards.'

  `Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly.  `The idea of havingthe sentence first!'

  `Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.

 

  `I won't!' said Alice.

 

  `Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.

Nobody moved.

 

  `Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her fullsize by this time.)  `You're nothing but a pack of cards!'

  At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flyingdown upon her:  she gave a little scream, half of fright and halfof anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying onthe bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gentlybrushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from thetrees upon her face.

 

  `Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; `Why, what a longsleep you've had!'

  `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she toldher sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strangeAdventures of hers that you have just been reading about; andwhen she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, `It WAS acurious dream, dear, certainly:  but now run in to your tea; it'sgetting late.'  So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while sheran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been.

 

  But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning herhead on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking oflittle Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too begandreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--

  First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again thetiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyeswere looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of hervoice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep backthe wandering hair that WOULD always get into her eyes--andstill as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole placearound her became alive the strange creatures of her littlesister's dream.

 

  The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurriedby--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through theneighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups asthe March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunateguests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on theDuchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--oncemore the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard'sslate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserableMock Turtle.

 

  So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself inWonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, andall would change to dull reality--the grass would be onlyrustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of thereeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherdboy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, andall thy other queer noises, would change (she knew) to theconfused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of thecattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle'sheavy sobs.

 

  Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister ofhers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and howshe would keep, through all her riper years, the simple andloving heart of her childhood:  and how she would gather abouther other little children, and make THEIR eyes bright and eagerwith many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream ofWonderland of long ago:  and how she would feel with all theirsimple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys,remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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